Rebuilding Shattered Lives

I didn’t think I would laugh again. I couldn’t laugh. I was mad. Not like I laughed with him. He was a goof and knew how to make us laugh. I thought it was so unfair for me to enjoy life without him. I was really mad. On August 1, 2011, my little brother, Missouri State Trooper Frederick F Guthrie Jr, and his K-9 Reed died in the line of duty while patrolling the Missouri River flooding. He was patrolling to protect the community's residents. He was there to keep watch. But who was there to protect him? I was really mad. Teresa called. They can’t find Fred. My first thought was he is out walking Reed, exploring the banks of the flood, anything - never in my wildest dreams did I think that he was gone. He was the Ultimate River Warrior! We all searched for him. We just knew he would reappear, or come back. That didn’t happen. Reed, Fred’s K-9, surfaced two days after the search, but it took many more days to find Fred. The hardest is not knowing. Wondering. How did it happen? Why did it happen? It was a horrible flood. I couldn’t be around any type of running water without hearing the rushing of the flood waters, without remembering those days. I was mad. Enter Concerns of Police Survivors and EMDR. It was so hard for me not to feel guilty when Fred died, for I hardly laughed anymore. I actually didn’t find my true belly laugh again until I attended my first Siblings Retreat. I couldn’t be around any type of running water without hearing the rushing of the flood waters, without remembering those days. I missed his calls at 5 a.m., his big voice when he entered a room, his singing off tune - so much to remember and so much to miss. Concerns of Police Survivors introduced me to a family of other survivors that not only showed me that I would be ok, but that I could still hurt, cry, get angry, miss him, but there was another side to grieving - that was healing. And with that came a group, a family, that welcomed me with no rules; they took all my baggage, good and bad. C.O.P.S. taught me how to navigate my life without my little brother, yet still remember and honor him. Don’t let someone talk you out of connecting with this organization; don’t let someone tell you, “it’s not for everyone.” It is for everyone! Peer support is the most effective form of healing. You can never have too many family members. I am not mad anymore. My brother believed in God, family, and the community he swore to serve and protect. He believed in the goodness of people, and if they were not good, he had a way of seeing the good in them. He served our community and served it well. His reputation spread over many miles and counties. He was funny yet serious, kind yet stern when needed, and wherever he went, he made a friend. He was a great law enforcement officer - people liked him, and he could make friends out of enemies. He was just a good person. He was a HERO, but he was so much more to me. Thank you, C.O.P.S., for not giving up on me!! Wendy Viers Surviving Sibling of Trooper Frederick Guthrie Jr. Missouri State Highway Patrol EOW 8/1/2011 #SurvivorStories

C.O.P.S. has provided immense support for my family and me since my husband, Officer Kejuane Bates of the Vidalia Police Department, passed away on April 1, 2020. April 1, 2020, is a day I will never forget; I am reminded of it daily. It was the day my world shattered—the day the love of my life, and my daughter’s father, lost his battle with COVID-19. The local Louisiana C.O.P.S. chapter, along with the national organization, has been instrumental in guiding me through my grieving process, offering comfort and support during the most difficult times for my daughter and me. They have connected our family with valuable resources and introduced us to other families facing similar challenges. The services provided to survivors are invaluable and life-changing. My daughter and I have attended two National Police Weeks, a Kids Camp, and, more recently in September, I participated in a Spouses event. Knowing that my daughter and I are not alone and have others to lean on has been crucial in our healing journey. The friendships we have formed with other survivors and their children are lasting and provide incredible support. I am forever grateful for this community. The support shown to my family over nearly three years has been immeasurable. While my family and I became members of C.O.P.S. for the worst possible reason, I am deeply thankful for the membership and the support that comes with it. Chelsea Bates Surviving Spouse of Officer Kejuane Bates Chicago (IL) Police Department EOW 4/1/2020 #SurvivorStories

My first National Police Week was 22 years ago, in 2003, and I was completely unprepared for the impact it would have on my life’s trajectory. I attended as a newly trained peer from my agency, not fully understanding what National Police Week (NPW) involved or looked like, and just hoping to support others. Little did I know how much I would be helped by others. That week was the most amazing and exhausting experience of my life, fundamentally changing me as a person. I had never witnessed such incredible moments of honor and respect, nor had I ever been exposed to such profound grief and emotion. Police Week 2003 altered the course of my life and career. Inspired by the incredible families and coworkers of survivors, I soon stepped into a full-time role of peer support at my agency and eventually became the Director of Support Services at NPW from 2006 to 2016. Along the way, I also became a surviving coworker, having lost several friends to line-of-duty deaths in 2011 and 2012. The relationships and experiences I gained through NPW were vital in emotionally preparing me to handle those difficult years. If this is your first NPW, I hope to help you prepare for the events that the week brings. One of the hardest things to explain about Police Week is the profound pageantry surrounding both the Candlelight and Memorial Services. There are sights and sounds that will forever be etched into your memory. Whether you come from a small department or a large metropolitan area, Police Week is the only event where thousands of officers from across the country and the world come together to pay respect to our fallen heroes. I truly believe that the Candlelight Service is something every law enforcement officer should attend at least once in their life. Amid the day-to-day chaos of being a police officer, we often lose sight of the honor that this job deserves—that the call to public service is a true sacrifice for both the officers and their families. The Candlelight Service is a moment where tens of thousands gather to honor the fallen, allowing you to visually grasp what the thin blue line represents. Standing shoulder to shoulder with thousands, holding a candle during a moment of silence, you will understand that the Blue Family is much more than you ever imagined; it’s a living and breathing force of nature where justice, honor, and integrity hold immense significance. The Memorial Service on the lawn of the U.S. Capitol is a solemn event of solidarity, where thousands of honor guards from around the world line up to pay their respects as the families arrive. There is truly nothing like it, and it can be overwhelming in its beauty. My advice is to soak it all in and recognize that everyone involved is present specifically for you—the families of the fallen. While you may have already attended services and memorials for your officer back home, you have never experienced anything quite like this. For many of you, this will be the final memorial service in your journey of grief, so embrace it and share the moment with other survivors. It is a long and emotional day, but I assure you that it is worth it. Above all, I cannot emphasize enough the importance of attending the workshops and seminars provided by Concerns of Police Survivors (C.O.P.S.) for families and coworkers. Led by some of the best counselors and mental health professionals in the world, these programs are designed to allow you to share the uniqueness of your own grief and to recognize that you are not alone in your journey. Many officers and families attending Police Week often spend the time between the Candlelight and the Memorial Service sightseeing, missing out on these crucial seminars and workshops intended to help you understand and navigate your grief. Do everything you can to attend these events—they are some of the most healing moments you can experience as a survivor. One of the most surprising aspects of my inaugural Police Week was the number of families and coworkers who return year after year. I initially assumed that most people I was meeting were first-year survivors, but I quickly realized that many returning survivors come specifically to give back and help those who are newly grieving. They understand the journey because they have walked in your shoes, making it a truly humbling experience. Many of us struggle to express our grief appropriately. I challenge you to utilize the resources available during Police Week and take the opportunity to grieve with others who are on the same path as you. The support services staff are trained peers and counselors who have their own journeys of grief and are there to assist you. I encourage you to take their advice and listen to their insights and expertise. Somewhere around 2012 or 2013, several peers and I were sitting together one night after Police Week, discussing how incredible and healing the experience was. We contemplated what it would be like after our retirements to create a nonprofit organization that provided the same type of support staff year-round, rather than just one week a year, to help departments and families dealing with tragedy. This conversation sparked the idea for the Warriors Rest Foundation. The partnership between Warriors Rest and C.O.P.S. was established through Police Week, and its mission is carried out every day across our country. When you visit the Support Services desk, be sure to learn about the resources available to you, your family, and your department through C.O.P.S. and Warriors Rest. It is our honor and privilege to assist you. While I understand that this is a week no one wishes to attend, I hope you recognize its value for surviving family members and coworkers. National Police Week was established to honor our fallen heroes, and while it fulfills that mission, it has also committed to supporting families and coworkers, ensuring that you will never have to walk alone. Our officers deserve the honor and respect bestowed upon them this week in remembrance of their sacrifice, and so do the surviving families.

Most individuals have months, dates, years that live with them forever due to the memories that happen throughout their lives. This is no different for Mike and Melita Whitfield and their family. On July 24, 1999, Mike and Melita rejoiced and celebrated the marriage of their youngest son, Marty, only to have life come full circle for them less than three weeks later when their oldest son, Deputy Marcus Whitfield, was killed in the line of duty. Like many survivors, the loss of their son made them feel lost in their grief and unsure of where to turn. “We had no idea which direction to go,” Melita explained “As we went along, people reached out to us from C.O.P.S., a lady by the name of Beverly Coates. She helped us out a lot.” Experiencing peer-support during the grieving process allows for connection and growth. After meeting others that have been through the death of a child, Mike and Melita realized they had others to lean on and who they could truly relate to through the loss of their son. “C.O.P.S. has helped us a lot over the years,” Mike said. “From the connections we have made to even learning about how to navigate the difficult trial process.” 2024 marked the 25th anniversary of their son's end of watch. Mike and Melita look to continue honoring Marcus by continuing to assist other surviving parents during a time no parent should ever have to experience. Mike and Melita Whitfield Surviving Parents of Deputy Marcus Whitfield Greenville County Sheriff's Office EOW 8/13/1999

Growing up, Amanda Walker Rose recalls being a close family that did virtually everything together. It was important to her father, California Highway Patrol Lieutenant Michael Walker. When he received the gift of spending both Thanksgiving and Christmas with his own family in 2005, Lieutenant Walker volunteered to work New Year’s Eve so that other officers could enjoy the holiday with their families. That evening, Lieutenant Walker succumbed to injuries he sustained when he was struck by a vehicle. “We found out early the next morning and our lives were turned upside down,” Amanda said. Four months later, Amanda and her family found themselves at National Police Week (NPW) honoring and remembering her dad. They were all searching for ways to navigate their grief on their own. “May of 2006 was my first introduction to C.O.P.S.,” Amanda explained. “It was the very first time that I was in a room with people that ‘got it.’” Following NPW, Amanda attended Kids Camp, Outward Bound®, and Adult Children’s Retreat. Now as an adult, she gives back to these programs by mentoring at both Kids Camp and Young Adults Camp. “Getting to come back as a mentor is a childhood dream come true,” Amanda said, “I couldn’t help but have the attitude that if I got through it and I am finding my way through I can give back to other kids that are doing it.” In December 2023, Amanda obtained her degree in Psychology/Counseling, noting her grief journey and experience C.O.P.S. directly influenced her career path. Having a first-hand perspective, she looks forward to providing a comforting support system as a mentor to surviving children well into the future. Amanda Walker Rose Surviving Adult Child of Lieutenant Michael Walker California Highway Patrol EOW 12/31/2005